A Compassionate Dilemma

BY ALEKSEI PAVLOFF

What does it mean to love thy neighbor?

What Henry Ruggs III did this past week was inexcusable, point-blank period. But does that mean he’s a lost cause?

In an article posted on espn.com, Ruggs III was traveling at 156 miles per hour Tuesday morning before striking an SUV, according to police. The incident led to the highly touted player being charged with two felony counts of drunk-driving after it was found that his blood-alcohol level was twice that of the Nevada’s legal limit.

Former Las Vegas Raiders wide receiver Henry Ruggs III makes an initial appearance in Las Vegas Justice Court in Las Vegas, Wednesday, Nov. 3, 2021. Ruggs is facing charges relating to a fiery vehicle crash early Tuesday in Las Vegas that left a woman dead and Ruggs and his female passenger injured. Photo is taken through a glass window. The team released Ruggs just hours after the crash. (Steve Marcus/Las Vegas Sun via AP, Pool)

The New York Times, reported by Ben Shpigel, wrote that the 22 year old’s actions led to the death of a 23-year-old woman — based on a statement released from the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.

Police were quoted as saying that Ruggs looked as if he was impaired. According to Clark County District Attorney Steve Wolfson, his blood alcohol registered at 0.16; twice the state’s legal limit.

A Chevrolet Corvette owned by Las Vegas Raiders wide receiver Henry Ruggs III is shown on a flatbed truck after a fatal crash on South Rainbow Boulevard between Tropicana Avenue and Flamingo Road in Las Vegas Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2021. Ruggs is facing a driving under the influence charge after a fiery vehicle crash early Tuesday in Las Vegas that left a woman dead and Ruggs and his female passenger injured, authorities said. (Steve Marcus/Las Vegas Sun via AP)

Ruggs’ actions subsequently led to the former Alabama star’s release from the Las Vegas Raiders after details of the incident came to public light. For a week that already jammed with several alarming and somewhat annoying headlines, this was the saddest among them.

After discovering that Ruggs had a passenger with him — girlfriend Kiara Washington — I was appalled and bewildered that she didn’t face the same fate as Tina Tintor; the woman killed in the crash.

After being released from the team, several fans of the team, sport and industry leaders chimed in to voice their thoughts on what transpired. For me, I tried to hold my tongue, not wanting to judge Ruggs, but I can’t neglect the fact that his actions took the life of someone who was going about their day.

As someone who comes from a lineage of alcoholics, this kind of action hits home for me.

Several days after the fact and waiting to see what transpires next, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. For both the victim, her family and Ruggs himself.

The 12th overall pick in 2020, like many draftees, quickly get their first taste of life as a public figure. With that comes extreme scrutiny and, in this case, he is very deserving of it. But what does that attention and scrutiny do to an individual?

Raiders quarterback Derek Carr, a seven-year veteran, voiced his concerns about what took place shortly after the media frenzy. His words were surprising to hear, but not difficult to understand.

Speaking with empathy, Carr pointed out that Ruggs needs to be loved at this moment in his young life adding “and if no one else will do it, I’ll do it.”

But that was not all of what he said to members of the media.

“My emotions have been on a roller coaster so to speak this year,” Carr said. “My heart goes out so much. I’ll try to say it with a straight face because I’ve already been emotional about every bit of this. But to the family, to all the families involved, no one ever wants to see this, whether it’s a football player or not, you never want to see something like this happen. It broke my wife and I’s heart, honestly.”

It's easy to dog pile on someone who has been accused or proven to have done something wrong in the public’s view, and Carr knows this. Earlier in the season, his head coach at the time, Jon Gruden, was the subject of leaked emails with distasteful comments regarding POC and members of the LGBTQ communities.

Back then, Carr was poised when speaking to the media about how his love for his head coach goes far beyond the surface level.

"It’s hard because I love the man so much," Carr told Levi Damien of USA Today. "I have family members that have done things ... I think more than anything, coach needs people to love him ... but at the same time what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong."

It’s strange to have this level of empathy, or at least to witness it. In basic terms by Carr, “you love the man, hate the sin.”

Being compassionate has been twisted into meaning you approve of someone’s behavior. On the contrary, being compassionate means to be concerned with someone’s well being while also showing sympathy. Another word I’d add is accountability. You must show you truly care for someone, then the process of rebuilding and rehabilitation can begin.

What Ruggs, and Gruden for that matter, did were wrong. Most of us can see that.

Las Vegas Raiders wide receiver Henry Ruggs III walks on the field before an NFL football game against the Chicago Bears, Oct. 10, 2021, in Las Vegas. Police in Las Vegas said Ruggs is facing a driving under the influence charge after a fiery vehicle crash early Tuesday, Nov. 2, 2021, that left a woman dead and Ruggs and his female passenger injured. (AP Photo/Rick Scuteri, File)

A famous piece of American literature titled To Kill a Mockingbird deals a lot with this sort of thing — finding compassion where there should be none.

My favorite character in the book, Atticus Finch, said "this time we aren't fighting the Yankees, we're fighting our friends. But remember this, no matter how bitter things get, they're still our friends and this is still our home.”

I think we can learn something from Carr and his level of compassion. After all, the gut reaction in this day and age is to shun him for voicing his support of an individual whose actions ended the life of another.

But at the end of the day, I cannot feel anger towards Carr and others who are trying to support Ruggs. I get it.

*ALL PHOTOS ARE CREDITED TO*

The Associated Press